2011年4月29日金曜日

Writing a blog

I am currently using Evernote as a unified memo environment, it sync what I've written everywhere, I really appreciate of those cloud service. I realized that we shouldn't write everything using Evernote, I'll explain the benefit of writing that is open public.
First, the role of writing. That can be divided into 2 parts, writing for yourself, and for others. The former is to write to keep remember or study, organize your thoughts, etc. You intend to use that for yourself. And the latter one is that to impart what you have. Telling what you thought, felt, found to the others. That can effect, make others happy, and offend others. Therefore, writing for others is more responsible than the former one. And what truly you have to pursuit is to how well you can ten to the others. Not to mention, writing for yourself also matters, but with Internet, it is way better to be able to tell what you have effectively/efficiently/satifiablly to the rest of the world.
Now, the importance of writing public raise a question. How can we practice while we are not famous that nobody reads or poor at writing? One possible answer is to write your blog. Of course, basically nobody reads, but stay alert that you are writing that can effect people, you are writing that can visible to the people in the world. That kind of awareness make your writing public skills better. It requires ingenuity in order to make people understand.

2011年4月28日木曜日

Popularity

I recall what were popular among students in my school or class from elementary school to now.
Starting from elementary school.

Elementary school :
The first one was Pokemon, everybody had it. After Gameboy was released, Pokemon became big boom in Japan, and later the whole world. There were 3 versions, Red/Blue/Green. and I got the green one. Nintendo was quite smart that each version had a slight difference, if you have to complete all kinds of pokemon, you have to exchange yours with someone's, there were some pokemon that appear in one but not in the other, so Nintendo successfully children interact with people to exchange and have a battle. There were some cheat, I remember. Turning your pokemon into 100Lv, and getting a pokemon that doesn't appear. Anyway, Pokemon was something my generation all share, and still the popularity of Pokemon continues.
The next one was Yu-gi-oh. it is card game, and you collect them and have a battle. It has Monster, Magic, Trap card and that makes battle really fun and strategical. I really got hooked
to this, I am the player from the former version of Yu-gi-oh, when cards were not sold in packs, with some kind of vending machine. I first bought the new version, I got the rare card, but I was a beginner that I just saw the number of attack/defense, that my friends told me to exchange, and I did! I lost the rare one. Yu-gi-oh was really popular that there were some social problem, kids steal someone's. And I was stolen. When I went to the place where children get together, someone told me to show my cards collection, and he returned. but I realized later that I was stolen.

2011年4月27日水曜日

Extracting your willingness

Do you have a trouble not being able to concentrate on a task? There are some tricks to extract your willingness to concentrate. Keeping these things might help. And I'll explain these from top to down.

1. Setting a deadline regularly
If we draw a graph of our ability of concentration, it dramatically grow before the deadline. And the level of stress grow as deadline come close. Therefore, if you divide the task into smaller pieces and set a deadline to each smaller piece, you can grow your power of concentration every time before a deadline. How often you have a deadline depends on your ability. Principle to setting a task is as follows.

2. Setting a task that suits you
If a task is too difficult or easy for you, it is not appropriate task. Your ability of concentration won't grow. Try to find a task that suit you, for example, browse a book and you feel its difficulty and if you feel motivated, that is a appropriate task for you.

2011年4月26日火曜日

I got a little bit more easily love girls

Since I am in the environment where almost no women are, I got a little ill that I easily fallen love. Just talk a little with, I do. What's going on with me? Is that really a true love?
The answer is both, I am biologically attracted to her, but not mentally. So what? I don't know! I'll
see how it works.

2011年4月24日日曜日

Communication Overview

I think about "communication" recently, and try to define what it means, but there are so many types of communication, and it is almost impossible to define. And this article will think about what is it mean to communicate well. Here are some major types of good communication.

1. Better at telling information
If you have to tell the same information to the others, it is better if that is effectively and prevalently, and that satisfy the others. The specific example of this is "Ikegami Akira" who is the anchor of NHK, he was. He tells news stories on TV in a very easy-to-understand way, and he got really popular. I think he himself is really smart, and understands things precisely. But sadly, that is not his main job, that he recently quit.

2. Better at extracting information from others out
If you talk with people, and it is better if you could make people speak out, and offer information. Being "Good Listener" is one kind of good communication. One example is, "Sanma Akashiya" who is a Japanese comedian, and now he mainly act as a host on a lot of TV program, that mainly features guest's talks. He is really good at making guests to speak, ask a question immediately, and response to it, and expand the talk by asking another more detailed question. What surprising point he has is that he at the same time talking with a specific guests, he sees a whole people, and thinks about what to talk about next, who to ask a question. Controlling a talk is a one kind of good communication.

3. Better at spontaneously making others offer something
Even if you do nothing, and people offer something for you, this also means you are good at communicating. For example, babies just sit there and people around there voluntarily offer something babies want. I think this aspect of good communication is comprised of "elements of surface" such as how you look like, and what you did so far, your personal character. There are some people good at this naturally that they have a lot of friends and girlfriends/boyfriends. Well... I am not.

As you can see, communication has two areas, that are "Passive" and "Active". And "Active" part can also be divided into "Tell" and "Extract". There are of course other types of good communication, and there is no answer I think. The best is that you have all. It is all about balance, you choice which strategy to use according to particular situation. Adopting a flexible approach is necessary to communicate well.

2011年4月22日金曜日

Ups and Downs

Yesterday,I had ups and downs of my feeling. Feeling bad about what my friend said, but he was tired, and that was not intended. Maybe I was tired too. And on my way back to home, on the train, I heard the unbelievable story.
They were new business people from this April, just had graduated university. And those 3 guys are at the same office, wearing black suit. And one of them said "Going university means buying time". And he supported that conclusion by saying "I'd had a lot of experiences during that time" and "It would be no problem if he had not been to university", and "He was not paying for the tuition, but time". And surprisingly, the others agreed. I was shocked about that. He also said "he got time and a status that he graduated university". Is he just unsuccessful, and this is not applied to every other university students? I think it is.
He is totally nuts, he went to university to get a better job paying a lot of money, he just followed what everybody does, and I guess he has nothing outside the area that university's name influence. he didn't have courage to get out of the school. Why is he just getting time and a status not getting the academic knowledge? Is that just a ritual before starting to work?
This is my rough guess, this kind of students exist, and not a few, huge number of people. This implicates positive and negative meaning. I think this is because the education is now for everybody, that a lot of people can now get higher education. This is really nice, once the difficult things for ordinal people is now usual. On negative side, people get so passive and not aggressive, and rely too much on very abstract things, such as a brand of university's name. What really necessary is what you can do out side the area. Do you think the status determines how good that person? No, it is just probability. person with good status tends to be nice.
I don't know why this happens to a lot of people, this is kind of social problem that was brought from advanced society. INTERESTING.

2011年4月21日木曜日

Writing Strategy

Writing well in any context is critically important. Still, text is one of major way of communicating, especially in today's society which is highly advanced with Internet. People send texts everyday, write assignments with computer, or text to apply for scholarship, etc. Even if you internally are thoughtful and smart and nice, when you only send your text with badly written to someone who don't know you well, the only information about you to him/her is the text. Like how you look like, clothes and face. This world is full of communication of information of surface. Therefore, it's a really rational to practice writing.
In academic writing, it is mainly comprised of 4 parts, Introduction and Methodology and Findings, and Implication. Introduction part should have a overall contents of the paper, and findings, and what's going on in the context, and that should attract reader's attention. Methodology part has a method you used to conduct your research. If you are not writing research paper, this part won't exist. Next, Findings section. This has to have what you found in your research, and this is the main component of your paper. And finally, Implication section. This should have a "So What?" things. Finding somethings, and what does that mean, or how does that do. Do Brain storming and see findings over and over and relate with things that are going on in the other field, for example. Connect dots to dots. Relate your findings to the world.
Here is how an academic journal is written. But, I think the most important thing is what you have. I sometimes experience a author's passion and rhythm, that really draws me into the text, even if it is not well written. The contents itself is attracting me. But you do not always have a fine findings, and even if you had, it's way better to know how to write well. This is kind of surface communication, you can get advantages just like fashion.

2011年4月20日水曜日

Look things in holistic way

I've decided to which classes to take this year. Although almost all classes are optional, but every piece of them seems so important to me, that I took almost everything. There were some that seem unnecessary, but from holistic way of viewing, they worth taking.
Since I'm in the field of Computer Science, and that technology is everywhere, and applicable to any field. If you assume CS as one dot, the dot can connect to almost everything, sometimes it go beyond our imagination. We never know which dots connects to which dots. It is just the dot of Computer Science will easily connect to the other. And if we decompose the dot into smaller pieces, we have a several type of dots, first we have Software, Hardware, and Communication. And these dots are connected each other deeply, and if we have all of them, it will be much easier to apply these to much broader world. It's fun just to have a weapons. This holistic view makes me realize that something that seems unnecessary from very close perspective, but these are actually decomposed dot of upper layer dot, and it is the component of those upper dots, and it will be my weapon.
It's sometimes very difficult to see through things from holistic view, seeing very details of things makes us go into the forest and get lost, but if you go up one step higher, it's easy to navigate you to go through the forest.
This year is going to be very important to me, and I think that's gonna hard. But these will be my dots, more dots I have, more chances I have. I appreciate this chance, and I won't let anybody down. I will do more than usual, I know there are plenty of smart people going ahead.

2011年4月19日火曜日

Indeed, everybody tied with Engsh

Yesterday, I talked with my friends, and the topic was about learning English. Since my English is better than theirs, we discussed the way of effective learning English, and one of my friend got really serious and he is now determined to master it, actually his English is poor, but I hope he will get better, and I hope I can help him. The implication here is that, English is kind of status, after they noticed that I took the most difficult English class, they started to ask me about how I did.
English is a status, this is what is going on, and I think that's nice, I want a unified language, and that should be English. I think this movement or stream will continue to get faster, and when next few generations get leadership in business, Japan will be divided into 2 parts, people who speak English, and those can't. If you see around, there are a lot of people speaking English, English won't be a such status anymore, it's normal, it's like a so what? thing.
Japanese are said to be poor at English, and actually are. Maybe because of difference of grammar. I won't talk about this, but talk about what's going on in a real context of educating English.
Japanese students learn English in middle school as compulsory and most of them go to high school and learn too, and about 70% go to University and learn too. They learn English about 10years, but they can't. I think one stupid custom makes it happen, in real context, students tend to pronounce in Japanese style, because it's considered to be embarrassed to pronounce in English style. And this stupid tendency prevent them from learning well.

2011年4月14日木曜日

Asking question in English

I did orientation yesterday, and in 1 class, that was English class. I got a question and asked about assignment, its frequency and toughness. Since, I had a much much harder English class last year, I could understand what the teacher said, and raise a question. And I did, maybe for the first time, but that was natural, it was not like this before, before that, if I had a question, I pressured it and I didn't. But I think watching online lecture of Stanford make me change, seeing students keep asking questions, and teacher never imply they are fool, I thought a little that having a question is a kind of symbol of un-smartness, but it is not. Having question means you follows the lecture, and that question is benefitable for everybody in the class. Now I am ready to ask questions, without feeling embarrassed.
This is one of my things to take care to make my academic life much better. And that also includes
・Review and Pre-view for every class or tough class.
  with making a one more note that covers everything, to reflect what I did, and this is also useful for test.
・My English Strategy continue
 What I did during the spring vacation, "Listening & Shadowing" and "writing a blog in English" and "copying English" and "ReadEng & EnjoEng". this will continue; but priority is my major.
・My own CS learning continue
 this includes online lecture, reading, coding, etc. This often overrides on "My English Strategy" above. Because these are done in English, and by doing those in English, it is much more effective. I get 2 things doing 1.

I won't let you down. I'll just do it, what's more, IT'S FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

2011年4月13日水曜日

I'm of a two minds

Now, I'm of a two minds, do I choose the lectures in the perspective of easiness or usefulness. I have to take at least 4 lectures of language and other than major this year. And my study of major is likely to be hard to me, so that I can't decide. Of course, I want to choose what I need or think important, but if those were tough enough to delaying me from doing my major, that should not be my burden, but it's a waste of time to take easy lectures, I think I won't feel good.
But for now, I don't know what's included, and what's the class like. And today, I participate in those classes and will decide.
We sometimes face difficult decisions, that happens when those options seem more or less profitable or risky, that is calculated in our brains, when we face those, whether we have principle or not is the key of right decision, for example, if you are determined to be professional at some language, you would take any pain, long time of assignments, but if you are rather determined to be professional at your major, and you prioritize that, you may exclude any obstacles around you.

Well, my principles, BOTH!! I'm determined to be professional of both, I'm gonna be PROFESSIONAL of COMPUTER SCIENCE who has a ability of ENGLISH. This is how I think, and I have to make decisions based on this, or I will feel regret, I feel empty.
Other than those specific areas, we never know which dot connects which dots, we can never say it's a waste of time or useless, we may have to follow our instinct when facing decisions. There is no formula that automatically determine the correct decision, it's a balance of your principle and instinct, it depends which you weigh in, but having both, I can say, that the decisions are more likely to be good for you.

2011年4月12日火曜日

Starting a new year in University

I had an orientation yesterday, I am now 3rd year at university. New campus, new lectures, new mind? yes of course, I've got a totally fresh mind, now I feel I'm gonna make the year satisfiable and energetic, and hungry. I have to have always curiosity, passion, and have to be fool.
Since the 4th year will be the life in laboratory, so that the life with lectures will be the last in my life, with uncertainty and confusion due to the earthquake, I have to be professional.
Today, I am gonna choose which lectures I should take, which one is needed to me, or can be the corridor of more advanced world? My main things to do is ComputerScience, and English.
Yesterday, I had a party with my best friends,

2011年4月10日日曜日

What I feel toward Computer

The first time I used computer was I think when I was 5th grade of elementary school student, it was kind of fun just to surf web, and I really wanted my own computer since, with that in mind, I did prepare for the entrance exam for private middle school, and I passed. My parents bought me a computer as a celebration. That was very expensive, not because it had high spec, but because it was for the beginner and had so many software already installed. In retrospect, that was mistake, that I could have bought much better computer spending same amount of money. I did choose that one, without any knowledge about computer, I thought CPU is the key of computer, and I compared just the number written in the pamphlet, and actually I bought the one with Celeron CPU, not Pentium. At that time, the amount of memory was 256MB, I really remember, and I used that computer for about 6 years as a main machine, and as time passes, it gets slow, the lack of memory, because at that time, I really got into computer video game, there were free online game there, I played a lot with my friends, I played Diablo2 also, that was my first costly online game. That was fantastic. I first played only "MMO", that is RPG. And as I am now, I don't like RPG, and I started to play FPS, First Person Shooter, I think my first touch with FPS was free software, at middle school, and my friends in the computer club showed me a lot of free games, and I played everyday in the lunch time break. and I bought Half-Life, that was awesome, with wonderful setting of the world, attractive weapons, enemies. And I bought it mainly because I could play its MOD Counter-Strike1.6, and I got hooked, really. And I felt the processing is slow, and I bought memory to add, I bought one more 512 MB memory, and added it, and I got 768MB computer!! that was my first time I looked inside computer, that was fantastic, I felt something like professional, I just insert the new memory lol. And I found the better Graphic Board is necessary, and I bought it, I learned so much, which is compatible or not. And I got better computer. Well, my first incentive of computer was games.
Well, I still play games, sometimes, but not that much. I got fascinated by "Programming" and "Architecture" and every fantastic things happening in the world using computer like "Google", and iPad and so on, rather than just playing manufactured stuffs. In retrospect, incentive was absolutely games, but they are strong enough to attract so many people. Incentives are not have to be academic and solid foundation, rather they should be pure curiosity and ingenuity.

2011年4月9日土曜日

English Imperialism

In Japan, English is a dominant second language, a lot of people learn it. It's a compulsory for middle school and high school student, and this year, the 5th and 6th of elementary school were added. The importance of being able to use English is increasingly high.
I think this is not that bad, I would want people in the world speak one unified language, and that is English, I guess more and more people will speak English in near future. But one thing that is concern to me is that in Japan, people tend to learn English for English, meaning the English language itself is their goal. People extremely care for the score of TOEIC, or TOEFL tests, or going study abroad for language. I wouldn't say these are bad, if people like to take test or learn language itself like their hobbies. But for most of people learn English, English should be the vehicle go to places where they couldn't have been. English can broaden the horizon of your world. For example, I now watch the series of lecture of Computer Science from Stanford University that is free online, I could not have even taken this class if I didn't use English at all. With the advance of Internet, now we can access to everything in the world that we couldn't have. The world of Japanese is just part of the world. If you did really hard just to buy the vehicle, you are out of money at the destination, you just drove the car. If you have something to give or impart, you will have fun there. Therefore, you should learn English and your major at the same time. Ideally, at the same time doing same thing, for example, watch lectures that features your field in English, reading books of your major written in English, etc.
People urge each other to become being able to use English too much I think, some companies started requiring their employee to use them, and being just able to speak English is now kind of status let alone the real quality of people. Let's think about it again, why are you studying English? And what do you have using English? Isn't is waste just chatting with people in English???

2011年4月8日金曜日

iPad Review

I had been waiting for iPad2, but due to the devastating earthquake hit Japan, the sale has been postponed. I really wanted iPad to read pdf files, for computer science. And the first iPad became less expensive, and I though that was enough for me to just mainly use it to read pdf files and web browsing. I didn't have to get the iPad2's new feature that is thinner and lighter, and faster. And here is the review of the first iPad.
In conclusion, I am quite satisfied with that, it is amazingly fast, and thin. and the display is very beautiful. And I feel basically no delay of processing. I now use it to read news sites every morning with coffee, it is much more readable than to read on laptop, reading things on laptop was really painful for me. So I printed out pdf files, and now I don't have to, it's eco-friendly. And I use it for reading comics. and read pdf files and books with GoodReader, Almost these things are my main purpose of use.
Now, what I am a little unsatisfied things, when using Safari, and open multiple pages, when go back to other pages, it automatically reload the page, and that makes it slow. But I could avoid this by buying browser app, I bought "Mercury". Next, it sometimes happen that app suddenly halt and go to the main place, the apps shelf. This is because of lack of memory, iPad has only 256MB, but this is acceptable if I regularly delete unused apps or reboot iPad.
Now with this magical things, every single piece of free time became something with iPad, because of its mobility, it's so thin, light, fast. I can not live without it now. But I have read the article about this, that was having no empty time is not good. With empty time, our unconscious starts to roam, and I feel that. And the author returned his iPad, but I won't, but I will be careful not to use it so much, like watching before sleeping, or seeing something unhelpful to me with web browser. Or reading "2ch". It is sometimes so much more important to me to do something different instead of iPad.

2011年4月7日木曜日

Say nice to people

I remember when I was a elementary school student, maybe 3rd year. That was the class of art, we were doing "Hanga" which is you shave the surface of wood and dip it into pool of ink and rub it with a leather made thing, and that was beautiful. And when I entered the second step, I dipped my shaved wood with my teacher looking it, when I took it out, I said I didn't like the outcome. And the teacher kindly said "Do you want to try that again?" Of course I could do that, but I said no. But at this time, I said so just because I was bored of doing art thing, until now I am not good at art, especially drawing.
After all classmates had done, the teacher had everybody seated, and started to talk. She started talking about me, about I didn't do that again!! she said, "it's important to embrace the only chance, I didn't to that again, and I were good kid", I felt awkward a little, but so happy that I was praised. A little awkward because I did not intend to mean that, but praised in front of everybody was something precious to me. And now still, I remember this sometime after more than 10 years.
Here is a implication this story has, saying nice to people is so beneficial even if it was not true intention or not, especially to kids, compliment will be their strength of doing things, without that, they get shrink. Of course, to adults too. No big difference, even if they react saying "I was not intending to do that", they are at least not feeling bad, but happy being complimented.

It's SO EASY SAYING NICE TO PEOPLE AROUND YOU, LET'S DO IT NOW!

2011年4月6日水曜日

The Quolia of Childhood

When I was small, the world around me was different, even time does not matter, if I went back to past, the world must be different. The quality and smell, and color, how I felt, how I thought, all different. It's not about which one is better, but it's about implication that we lose something as we grow up. Of course, we got something we did not have, so why not get something we lost back?
I remember, when I woke up when I was small, the color and feeling was different. Like Yumi Matsutoya's song, I woke up with kind feeling. And now I woke up with feeling drowsy and tired rather than kindness. And how I saw things around me was different. It was full of curiosity, always ask what I did not know without managing question, And how I communicate with friends was different, I talked to them without taking care of snobbery like fashion, women, etc.
I knew it was nothing about what you wear, which school you are going. I talked to them because I saw them, now I sometimes see them with other things.

2011年4月5日火曜日

Positive Actions to Achieve Your Goal

Do live your life without setting any goals? You should set some goals. Setting goals make your way even definite and clear. And that's a way of going ahead. Of course, without setting any goal, you can go advanced, but with them, it would be easier.
And here is the ways of thinking that work to achieve your set goals with more possibility.
・Divide your goal into smaller pieces.
→ This is critical point, similar to decomposition in Computer Science, if you have a big goal, needs long time to achieve, you are going to go through some steps, a little by little, sometimes you face obstacles, and as go one by one step, and breaking those obstacles, your goal will be much more stronger and you will be close to the goal. This means you can have 2 kinds of goals, big goal and small goal. I suggest that if you set small goals, that should be very small enough to achieve in say, an hour or a day. For example, if you have a big goal that is "Being able to speak English fluently", and you may have small goals such as "having conversation with English speaking people on Skype".

・Talk about your goals to people around you.
→This makes it more realistic, forcing you to achieve your goals. This is social incentive, and usually you get this naturally, but by doing this, you get that intentionally. People who know your goals may ask you the progress of your goals sometimes.

・Imagine how you will feel and get when you achieve the goals
→This make the goals more clear, and you can speculate the effect of achieving goals. But here is the caution, that is you should not imagine it positively and exaggerate it. Think it realistically.

・Give yourself a present when you achieved a smaller piece of goal
→This is called "strengthen learning", from brain science, if you do something and you get happier after doing that, the action you did before you get happier will be strengthen. This works in any context. Like growing your kids, education, sports, getting girlfriends, etc.

・Record the progress of your goals in a daily basis
→With a object view point, what you do for your goals may seem insufficient or inappropriate. By writing down or managing them on computer makes it happen. With subjective view point, you may get lost.

Here are some tips, but the really you need is I think that Very Strong Incentives and your EFFORT. I think with those, tips above naturally achieved, and you are next to success.

2011年4月4日月曜日

Doing meditation

I sometimes do meditation, and yesterday, the book "Even Happier" that I am currently reading suggests that doing meditation is good for me, in the book, I was directed to think about what I helped somebody in the past, and reexperience how you feel, and next think about how you are going to help somebody. And I noticed that the real effect of meditation.
In today's society, we are in the full of information, computers are everywhere, moreover advanced cell phone which contains web browser and information collection tool like iphone, and mobile gadget like iPad makes it more intense. We can connect to the sea of information anywhere, anytime. Every single piece of time could be time for web-browsing. Like waiting for trains, taking a bath, going to toilet, even when eating. This seems really productive and no-waste of time, from a perfectionist view. I was the one who wanted to do this. But isn't it important to have a empty time? which you don't think nothing.
When you have empty time, your brain begins working, I think it is categorizing and reorganizing your memories, you may experience strange action of brain, I always remember anything, like old memories and a little trauma, and so on. That's important. If you continue to input information, brain has to work to process the stream of information, and that means it can not reorganize what you got so far.
And meditation is good exercises for perfectionist, like it was for me, because doing nothing is unacceptable for them. Meditating is actually "doing nothing", but by naming that as "meditating", it becomes doing something for even perfectionist. And it works, I think sometimes we should do meditating, like when your brain doesn't work at all, I think your brain is tired of getting information and requires time to process those. Actually, yesterday I felt my brain does not work properly, and once I did meditating, I really could concentrate on reading.

Why not to try? You will like it.

2011年4月2日土曜日

Feeling upset

I am a University student, majoring Computer Science, and now am entering the 3rd year, my life of undergraduate has passed 50%. What I feel now is upset, because still I can do nothing, I can just write a simple code and know a little about algorithm and network, and computer architecture. Having learned computer-architecture was something good to me, like I could go one step up and can see the map of computer broadly. But, what I can do is a little. About English, I have really advanced in writing and reading, especially reading, I am not fear of read lengthy article anymore, but still has problem in speaking English. I can speak almost everything, but it takes lag a little bit, conversation is a real-time processing, and I need to be more sophisticated that I can react more quickly.
These things above, is the main factors why I am upset, because there are more sophisticated students who are same age as me in the world, and I have to catch up. I originally thought that the fact I can not speak English was something I hated, but this year, I realized that there are a lot of advantages that only me can have as a English learner as Japanese. So I don't care about that, but anyway, I am determined to master English, so I wanna go more quickly, and this is why I am upset. Next, about CS, I feel upset but I think I don't have to be. because when I went through the online course "CS106A" which is offered by one of the best University in the world Stanford, I felt the students there do more or less same as I did so far, this is why. But one thing I started really concern about is that my attitude, watching those lectures, I noticed the students are really interactive, ask questions even if it is a small thing, I think this is important to have classes, and this is one element that divide the university and online university. Interacting with lecturer is exciting and making it more easier to learn.

Now, I've got what I have to do, be more positive in learning, ask questions if you have. Learn example by students at Stanford, imagine how they act if they were here. They're gonna become the best, now let's catch up and go over.

2011年4月1日金曜日

Traumatic Crows

I hate crows, not only that, I am scared of them. The power balance between me and crows is not equal, I lose always. I remember when I was high school student, I go to school by bicycle, and on the way, there is narrow street with a lot of trees because that is near the cemetery, and sometimes crow watching me. I had to go through the street with crows very close, and sometimes I simply couldn't. My strategy varies. Sometimes, I stopped and wait somebody come and go with him/her. Or simply take another route that requires so much more time, and one of biggest reason I was late to school was crows.
But why am I so scared of them while most of people not? This is related to traumatic memory of old time. When I was elementary school student, and 2nd or 3rd year, one day I went to school as always, but suddenly crows flew to me! I still remember that and that is the biggest reason. And I also remember that I was really scared of the story that was popular among us, that was like kind of rumor, no evidence but very persuasive, we call them "都市伝説" ore Urben Legend. That story says, if we see crows in the eye, they flew to us and they stick our eyes with their beak. I was small when these happened, but I still strongly remember, this implicates these are trauma to me. And the fact that even now I scared of them is because of this. Post Traumatic Stressed Disorder in a way.
Trauma or strong impression when you get you were very young pertains very long, and that is sometimes really hard to overcome. The fear is inside the subconscious. I really hate them, the color, the size of them. But I think this fear sometimes interferes me that I can not touch the world of crows, well of course, I don't want to. I started to think of this since I watched the TV program featuring crows, their intelligence and unusual behavior. That made me think of them changed drastically, for example, I saw a video that crows play with slide in a park, and they eat soap. The professor said some mysterious incidents happening around us could be crow's action. And this is why I am afraid of my attitude that is like "I hate them, so I won't have any research that contains crows even a little". We won't know what is related with one thing, unexpected phenomena could be the key to success. I can't exclude even a small pieces of phenomena happening in the world.